


We Are One

by The_Optimist



Category: Thomas Sanders (Video Blogging RPF) - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Comfort, Emotions, Fighting, Heartbreak, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Isolation, M/M, Patton's Room, Pre-Relationship, Pre-Slash, Resolution, Suffering, all relationships are end game btw, but no actual panic attack, he's got this, lead up to a panic attack, logan isn't sure where that leaves him, virgil is in charge for once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-15 20:42:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12328512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Optimist/pseuds/The_Optimist
Summary: Logan is gone, Patton is hiding his emotions, and Roman is no use in his manic state. It's up to Virgil to help fix the solution for once, but can he really do it when it feels like the world is falling apart around him?~Set after Moving On Part 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this was vaguely inspired by a tumblr post i cannot for the life of me find again but whatever. have some badass Virgil coming to save the day and some insecure everyone else. oh how the turntables.
> 
> pretty sure there are no warning for this chapter but let me know if you think there should be!

Virgil trembled under the bright lights of the room. He wasn’t sure if it was some effect of Patton’s emotions or just his own uneven breathing, but the room was beginning to spin around him as he struggled to get air into his lungs. His fingers were tightly curled into the fabric of his jeans, twitching to hide his face but he couldn’t yet, not when he was the task manager, not when it was up to him -and him alone, how could Logan leave him, how could he?- to help Thomas and the other Sides regain some sense of control. Shakily he leaned forward, trying to slow his breathes to something more manageable, trying to speak over Roman’s loud reminiscing. “Guys, this isn’t helping,” he tried, but the others didn’t even spare him a glance. “Patton, please, you have to think about this,” he tried again, reaching out for the Side he had always been closest to. Patton frowned at him briefly but turned away to pick something else up. “Thomas, Thomas look at me, this-this isn’t working, you’ll-you’ll just feel worse if y-you keep this up, Thomas-“ Thomas turned to half face him over the picture frame he was holding.  
  
“Anxiety, it’s fine, just leave it. We aren’t hurting anyone so butt out,” he said, once again focusing his attentions on Patton. Virgil felt something clawing up his throat at the harsh treatment, at his uncontrollable breathing, at the biting way Thomas had called him ‘Anxiety’ instead of Virgil. He had one last chance before he lost it, he probably wouldn’t even last a minute more if something didn’t change right now. His hands wove the way into the drawstrings of his hoodie, fingers gripping to the collar loosely. He would not let his emotions get the better of him, not this time.  
  
“Would everyone just stop for a minute?” He called out, barely above normal speaking volume, but voice louder under his echoey distortion. The room around him stilled, and all eyes were on him. Something crawled under his skin at the attention, but he ignore it for the moment. “Thank you. I, I think we should have a discussion about this. A _proper_ discussion,” he said, throwing dirty looks at all the Sides, though the one Patton received was significantly softer than those given to the other two. “Obviously nobody’s happy here.”  
  
“Pfft, that’s not rue Virgil! We’re having a great time, right?” Patton said glancing at the others for back-up.  
  
“No, he’s right Patton. We should talk about this, rather than ignore it. It’ll only hurt worse that way,” Thomas said softly, sadly, head drooping in pain.  
  
“I agree,” Roman said quietly, and some of the the tension in the room relaxed.  
  
All of a sudden, as if a switch had been flipped, the colours in the room shifted from their golden hue to a harsh blue and black, lighting the room as if they were far under the sea. A haze of grey fell over the items of nostalgia around the room, obscuring them partially. A chill came over the air, and when Virgil breathed in he realised the air tasted slightly salty, as if he really were under the water. The thought was not comforting, especially considering the sudden change. His heart raced on.  
  
“I c-can’t, I can’t do it, I’m-I’m sorry, I can, can’t do it,” Patton cried out, desperately hiding his face in his hands, pulling his cardigan closer around his shoulders. Thomas looked suddenly pained as Patton sobbed, and Virgil realised he must be feeling his heartbreaking all over again.  
  
“Patton, hey, listen, I know it hurts right now, but you have to listen to me,” Virgil tried again, voice still echoey and he cringed at his terrible attempt at comfort, but at least he was trying. Morality looked up from between his fingers, glasses smushed into his face and his eyes red and puff under the sheen of his tears. “I know you’re heartbroken, but you can’t keep hiding it just to protect yourself. If you let it fester you’ll end up even worse, you might even end up like me. Nobody wants that, dad,” Virgil assured, but Patton let out a gut wrenching sob in reply, causing Virgil to flinch back slightly in shock and fear.  
  
“But it _hurts,_ he, he left us and I don’t know what, what to d-do! It’s s-sore Virgil,” Patton cried, and Thomas and Roman looked visibly pained at the other Side’s confession.  
  
“I know Pat, I know, and it’s going to hurt for a while longer, but it won’t always hurt like this, I promise.”  
  
“Hot Topic is right. Patton, trust me, I feel it too, but maybe if we just opened up about it some, then maybe we can deal with it better. What do you say?” Roman said, voice soft and soothing on the frayed nerves of everyone in the room.  
  
Patton sniffed, rubbing harshly at his face. “I, I guess? Thomas?”  
  
“Well, I don’t like being sad, but it’s certainly much healthier than bottling it all up,” Thomas said, nodding slightly in agreement. Virgil let out a small sigh of relief at the nearing solution.  
  
“I may be anxious about literally everything, but I do have some grounding in reality, and I would never lie to you Patton. One day, maybe not soon, but one day, you’ll be okay again. I promise,” Virgil gave him his final push, and got a small shake smile for his efforts.  
  
“I trust you,” Patton said at last, still breathless from crying but odd not quite as somber as before. The room around them began to lighten up a bit, not back to it’s previous golds and whites, but into a more subtle shade of blue and green.  
  
“You’ve got this Pat,” Roman said dramatically, voicing confidence Virgil was sure only he felt, but he couldn’t help but repeat the sentiment himself.  
  
“You sure do,” Thomas added, smiling softly at his Heart.  
  
Virgil rubbed a hand down his face, taking note of his still too-fast pulse and off-kilter breathing. “Does this mean we can leave now? No offense Patton, but your room is giving me serious bad vibes.”  
  
“Yes, we can leave now kiddo. Thomas?” The sides turned to Thomas, and he closed his eyes, focusing on bringing them back to the main room. They all appeared with a pop, landing in their usual places, and Virgil took a huge gasp of air. Finally, it felt as if his lungs might start working again, as if a weight had been lifted from his chest. Glancing over, he noticed Logan was still gone, and couldn’t help the sudden pang in his heart at the sight of his empty place beside the stairs. “Thanks guys. I, I really needed that. And thank you Virgil, especially. I love you kiddo,” Patton said, breaking him out of his thought process as he turned to make eye contact with the other Side. A blush overtook his face, but he swallowed his fear for once.  
  
“I love you too,” he replied quietly, and waited for the inevitable. After a second of disbelief, a squeal sounded through the air, and Virgil could faintly hear Roman’s excited speech over it. Patton’s face was still red and covered in tears, but he was smiling now, and even if he wasn’t back to normal yet, they would certainly get there.  
  
Just as Patton cut off, Logan reappeared in the room, face gloomy for all of a second before he noticed the others were also present. “Oh, you’ve returned?” He asked, voice nonchalant as usual, but Anxiety noticed some unfamiliar emotion lurking behind it, carefully hidden from the others notice. Patton’s face lost it’s cheery look as he and Logan took each other in, and Virgil sighed at the thought of them fighting and upsetting each other again.  
  
“Yeah, Virgil helped,” the unsaid ‘after you left’ was hanging ominously in the air, and Virgil swallowed thickly. He saw Princey shifting uncomfortably from the corner of his eye at the interaction.  
  
“I am… glad,” there was another awkward pause, almost thirty seconds reaching it’s end before Thomas opened his mouth to intervene, but Logan got there first. “I’m sorry. Patton, I am truly sorry for the way I treated you. I should not have so brazenly mentioned what you obviously did not want to bring up, and I should not have forced you to let us into your room when you did not want to, and for good reason. I seek your forgiveness, but you need not give it, now or in the future.”  
  
Another tense silence followed, this one more charged than the last, but shorter also. This time it was Patton who broke it. “I forgive you. I’m sorry as well, I shouldn’t have snapped at you, and maaaybe I could have listened to your advice a bit sooner. I’m sorry,” Patton said, glancing away from Logan’s face to stare at his feet.  
  
“All is forgiven,” Logan replied softly, and there were smiles all around, even from Virgil.  
  
“Well, I think that’s me done for the day with emotional stuff,” Thomas announced, clapping his hands together once. “I think I might need to take a nap now. I’ll see you guys later!” And with that, Thomas was away. Virgil huffed and rolled his eyes, and began to sink out as Roman and Patton did the same, with their own quiet goodbyes. He slowed his decent, however, when he noticed Logan still stood there, frowning ever so slightly at the floor.  
  
“Hey, Logan, what’s up?” Virgil asked, trying to sound like he didn’t care, even if he obviously did.  
  
Logan looked up sharply, seemingly surprised to find Virgil stood there. He blinked quickly for a few seconds as he got his bearings, before his lips pushed into a from line and he nodded once. “Nothing, nothing is wrong. I shall be leaving now also. Goodbye,” and with that Logan was gone. Virgil frowned at the Logic Side’s place in the living room, he had a feeling something was still wrong with his fellow Side. Still, it had been a long day, and he was tired of being the responsible one. Surely Logan would be alright for another day by himself.  
  
Right?


	2. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patton doesn't think Logan has emotions, but he really, really does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhh sorry this is late, buuut it's still out before part 2 so I call that a success!
> 
> warnings for a panic attack, so be careful!

At first nobody noticed. Nobody noticed when Logan was late to a video, or when he didn’t show up later that evening for dinner. Nobody noticed when he was late again the next movie night, or even the next after that.  
  
Virgil began to grow concerned when he skipped meals, constantly, one after the other. His concern for Logan only grew as deep bags began to appear under his eyes and he stopped spending as much time with the other Sides.  
  
Roman first grew concerned for the Logical Side almost two weeks after the Moving On videos. His creative imaginings and vivid daydreams were barely interrupted anymore, and he was only ever pulled out of them by Anxiety, or Logic when prompted by Anxiety. He started to spout nonsense just to see the reactions of the others, but Logan seemed to almost not care, for once. His desperate search for logic in every situation was depleting, and Roman noticed.  
  
Together, the two Sides who were concerned about their friend went to Morality. Virgil and Roman took turns pointing out all the changes in Logan’s personality and behaviour that were concerning them, sure that when presented with this obviously worrying evidence Patton would be sure to assist in their effort to help Logan. Instead, Patton turned them away, saying the Logical Side was fine, likely just tired or overworked and nothing that wouldn’t sort itself out. The other two weren’t convinced, but they let it drop as Patton had asked, because he was emotions and morality, there was no way he would purposefully lead them astray.  
  
Or so they believed.

 

Patton was hurt, to say the least. He hadn’t lied when he had told Logic he had forgiven him, but that didn’t mean his actions weren’t still painful. And like Virgil had said, dealing with emotions in an unhealthy manner wasn’t good for anyone, and so he let himself be upset for once, hold a grudge for once. He was sad, and angry, and Logic had been the first to hurt him, and so he let himself feel that hurt.  
  
So when Virgil and Roman had approached them with their concerns, he had brushed them off. Really, he had thought, that there was a slim possibility Logic was upset with him also -even though it didn’t seem like the Side would hold onto any emotion, never mind petty ones- but it was more likely that he had picked up on Patton’s bad mood and had decided to avoid him for the time being. Patton appreciated it, and the two younger Sides’ concern for Logic, but deemed it unimportant in the long run and moved on.  
  
When they approached him a second time, almost a full week later, he took more note of what they were actually telling him. “He’s not been eating, can’t have been sleeping with the hours he works and the bags under his eyes, and we haven’t had a conversation longer than three words in days. _Days_ Patton,” Virgil told him, eyes pleading and Roman there to back up his case with arms crossed over his chest and a nod. They were worried, for sure, but Patton still wasn’t convinced this wasn’t just some misplaced guilt and sneaking around at odd hours. Of course, he hadn’t seen Logic in more than passing in almost as long as it had taken for the boys to speak to him again.  
  
It wasn’t until the third conversation, four weeks after the original video, before Patton finally relented. He agreed to speak to Logic, if only to comfort the younger Sides, and maybe he could try and clear up his grudge whilst he did it, even if he really didn’t want to. He had begun to notice Thomas was sorely lacking in Logic for the past couple of days, and decided that making sure Logic wasn’t avoiding him anymore might benefit them both. “Alright, alright kiddos, I’ll speak to him, but I’m sure he’s fine,” Patton assured, ruffling Virgil’s hair as he passed, the Anxious Side too worried about the current situation to even protest the action.  
  
Patton moved from the common room through into the hallway that connected to all the Sides’ rooms. The first one, on the left, was Patton’s own room, with a pastel yellow door decorated with flowers and hearts. Past that on the same side was Roman’s door, a bright red with golden borders. Across from Roman’s door stood Virgil’s, black with purple highlights, and storm clouds painted across the top, shooting down bright lines of lightning. Patton barely glanced over these other doors, however, instead turning to the one directly across from his own; a basic white door, it’s only defining feature being the neatly printed ‘Logic’ written across the front of it.  
  
With a small, reluctant, sigh, Patton moved forward to knock on Logic’s door. There was a low groan on the other side, before a shout that Patton assumed meant for him to enter. Patton pushed the door open slowly, only to find Logic’s room a disaster, his work everywhere, in a mess across the floor and desks and even his bed. Patton turned horrified eyes to Logan’s form on the floor by his desk, finding his face, only to see it paler than usual, with bags to rival Virgil’s own. “Logan? What-“  
  
Patton was cut off by Logan stumbling to his feet, brows creasing as he tried to figure out who was at the door. A quick glance around showed no obvious sign to where Logan’s glasses could be, so Patton moved forward to help steady the Side himself. “Logan, what happened?” He muttered something under his breath, and Patton had a feeling it wasn’t the answer to his question. “Logan, come on, let’s sit down, yeah?”  
  
As he lead the Logical Side to the bed, he felt the rest of his anger and grudge with Logan slip away. He was in such a state Patton wondered if anyone could be truly angry with him in that moment, never mind the embodiment of Thomas’ heart. Patton sat them both down, and Logan curled away from him, and tried to stand once again. “Logan, please, sit, tell me what’s wrong,” Patton reached out to grab Logan’s wrist, but Logan snatched his arm back as if he had been burned.  
  
“N-not, not logic, not logical, mm mm, nope, doesn’t make sense, not logic, no logic here,” Logan said, eyes glazed as he stumbled away from Patton, seemingly unaware of his presence. He dropped to his knees in the middle of the room, having tripped over a book left lying open, and Patton raced forward to reach his side once again. “Don’t, do do do don’t, don’t,” Logan continued, and Patton realised he was crying, breath stuttering in his chest as he tried to breath.  
  
With wide eyes, Patton placed his hands on Logan’s shoulders so he could face him. “Logan, look at me, I’ll be right back, you’re going to be okay, alright? You’re going to be just fine,” it was almost a relief when something almost like recognition flickered in Logan’s eyes, and it was enough for Patton to give a wobbly smile before running to the door. He yanked it open from where it had closed, looking out into the hallway but seeing no one. “Virgil! Roman!” He called out, unable to hide to worry from his voice. Both Sides appeared almost instantly at the bottom of the stairs, racing their way towards him.  
  
“What is it, what’s wrong with him?” Roman asked, but Patton just stepped back to let them stand in the doorway.  
  
“It’s like he’s corrupted or something! But he’s in his own room!” Patton was confused, as he often was, but he was mostly just scared. He had let it go too far, and now he had no idea how to help Logan.  
  
Virgil pushed past him, eyes wide with fear as he rushed to Logan’s side. Roman was soon to follow, with Patton just behind them both. Virgil knelt in front of Logan, careful not to touch him as he began counting his breaths. Roman crouched to his left, and so Patton took the free space to Virgil’s right. “Logan, breath in for four,” Virgil instructed, starting to look like he might be saying it aloud for his own benefit as much as Logan’s. “Hold for seven.”  
  
“Logan, can I touch you?” Patton asked quietly as Logan tried to hold his breath. He got was a sidewards glance for a few seconds, before Logan’s breath rushed out of him like he had been underwater and had just broken the surface. He looked away, glancing down at Virgil’s shaking hands, before giving a slight nod. Patton moved forward slowly, gently placing his hand on Logan’s shoulder, who tensed slightly. “I’m going to pull you towards me, alright?” Patton narrated his actions quietly, pulling Logan back to rest against his chest, and Logan pulled his knees up to his chest. Virgil moved closer, hands resting on Logan’s knees as he continued counting, Logan’s breathing starting to slow from it’s harsh pace.  
  
From his view over Logan’s shoulder, Patton could see Roman reach out to brush gently across Roman’s face, presumably wiping away his tears. Roman gave a soft smile at whatever look Logan was giving him, but didn’t say anything. All was quiet for the next few minutes, with the exception of ragged breathing, soft sobs, and Virgil’s steady counting. Eventually Logan reached a more natural rhythm, and all the Sides took a deep breath.  
  
“Logan? You with us now?” Patton asked, and received another nod, Logan starting to tense up against his chest as he became more aware.  
  
“You gave us quite the scare there Logan. Whatever it is that is troubling you, I swear I shall defeat it for you,” Roman said, though it lacked his usual volume and grandeur.  
  
Logan buried his face into his knees, drawing forward and away from Patton who frowned at the Logical Side’s back. He mumbled something that was muffled by the fabric of his trousers, and the others leaned in slightly to hear him better.  
  
“What was that Lo?” Virgil asked, voice soft and trying to sound as comforting as possible.  
  
“I did not mean to be a burden,” came the rough voice once again, slightly louder this time. Patton winced, it sounded like Logan had been gargling nails, and he did not sound himself at all.  
  
“Hey now, that’s not true Logan. You’re not a burden on any of us,” Patton assured, running his hand up and down Logan’s back as one would comfort a distressed child.  
  
“Pat’s right, you have never been and never shall be a burden to us. You’re usually the one taking care of the rest of us, actually,” Roman said, seemingly a bit confused, like Patton was, at where this was coming from.  
  
“We don’t mind taking care of you for once Logan,” Virgil said, hands still on Logan’s knees.  
  
“It’s not that,” Logan admitted, voice tinged with defeat, and Patton shuffled further forward.  
  
“What is it then?” Virgil asked.  
  
“I-… I know that I’m not really needed. I am… extra. An add-on, additional information, you could remove me and Thomas would still function almost exactly the same as before. I… I don’t _matter._ “  
  
There was silence for a few seconds as the other Sides processed this. “Logan… Lo, no. There’s not, you… Logan you are so important. To Thomas, yes, but to us as well. I don’t-… why would you think we don’t need you?” Patton finally broke the silence, hand stilling in its motion briefly before continuing.  
  
“You don’t need two problem solvers. It is… unnecessary to have two people working on the same problems. Obviously, that means I am redundant in my use,” Logan said, as if it were logical, as if it were right. Patton could feel tears building in his eyes, and looked up to see that Virgil had removed one hand from Logan to cover his mouth as tears began spilling down the youngest Side’s face.  
  
“No, no! Logan that is absurd! Sure, problem solving might not be unique to you, but that is not the full time job of any of the rest of us! And even if it were, you have so many other important things that only you do! Like, like-“ Roman started, brow furrowing as he tried to think of an example quickly.  
  
“Planning Thomas’ day!” Patton jumped in quickly.  
  
“Yes! Or, uh, keeping Thomas healthy!” Roman continued.  
  
“You’ve helped me before too. You helped me help Thomas. What happened to teaming up?” Virgil asked quietly, and the others paused as Logan looked up to meet Virgil’s gaze.  
  
“You are so much better at looking after Thomas than I am, than I could ever be. Virgil, you _are_ a problem solver, you _can_ think logically, you take care of Thomas and the others and maybe you are a bit too heavy handed sometimes but you’re working on it and that’s more than I have ever done.”  
  
Virgil sobbed quietly, falling forward to wrap Logan in a hug, causing them both to fall back against Patton’s chest. Roman moved forward to steady the three of them before they fell over.  
  
“No! Logan you, you are so much more than me, you are, are worth so much and y-you are so, so im-important. Please, why can’t you see that we, we need you, when you helped me see that you, you all needed me? Logan, please don’t do what I did, because… because you are worth so much to all of us and-and I love you too much to let you hurt yourself like this!” Virgil cried, and Patton gently squeezed the two Sides in his arms.  
  
“Virgil’s right Lo, you are definitely needed. You’re unique, and we wouldn’t have you any other way,” Patton pressed a kiss to the top of Logan’s head and managed to hear the hitch in his breath as he tried to fight off more tears.  
  
“Logan, you are magnificent, and do such a fantastic job being logical, but just this once, you are wrong,” Roman said, brushing hair out of Logan’s eyes as he did so.  
And if more eyes than just Virgil’s were teary as the three Sides held Logan close, well, that was for them to know.  
  
“I-… I love you all,” Logan admitted quietly, a few minutes later.  
  
“We love you too Logan,” Patton said, smile hidden in Logan’s hair.  
  
“That we do, dearheart.”  
  
“Yeah, love you too, even if you are a doofus sometimes.”  
  
And even if it would take Logan a while to feel better, he knew getting there was possible due to those around him to love and take care of him.

**Author's Note:**

> heeeeey, thanks for reading this! wanted to get it out before we get Part 2 and all of this becomes canon divergence lol. check me out on tumblr @dadjokesandanxiety if you want to.


End file.
